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<title>dontmakemefallinlove by deltachye</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23713810">dontmakemefallinlove</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/deltachye/pseuds/deltachye'>deltachye</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Free!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, One Shot, Reader-Insert, Song Lyrics</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:00:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,100</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23713810</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/deltachye/pseuds/deltachye</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>[reader x ikuya kirishima]</p>
<p>Girl, don't make me fall in love with you.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kirishima Ikuya/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>dontmakemefallinlove</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>Lonely nights like these you just stumble in my head<br/>And I’m wondering what you’re doing<br/>And why maybe I'm not dead<br/>The thought of you still kills me<br/>I know I’m a stupid guy<br/>Looking back at my mistakes, I fucked up a million times</b><br/>It’s the times he doesn’t expect to miss you that hurts the most.</p>
<p>Walking out of lecture and looking around as if you’ll be leaning against a wall, waiting. Picking up his phone as if your name will be printed across it. Eating his lunch and guarding it with a hand as if you’ll suddenly appear beside him and ask to have a bite, that teasing smile you know he can’t resist already on your face. You had been such a big part of his life that now, without it here, it feels like he shouldn’t be here either. It’s a pain that he brought down upon himself entirely. So, when he cries over it, broken and angry and <i>alone</i>, he has nobody to blame but himself. </p>
<p>And by God would he give anything to have you there to comfort him, but it’s the last thing he’ll ever ask for.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>I couldn't see the day<br/>I never called somebody mine<br/>'Cause every single heartbreak made me lose my fucking mind<br/>I guess I was too blind<br/>Girl, I see that you were right for me</b><br/>“Who the hell do you even think you are?!”</p>
<p>He pushed you so hard that you fell backwards, your head slamming into the desk with a dreadful <i>thud</i>. It was a great long silence that spans chasms. The roar of his heart felt like the runs of an angry river. He breathed hard, knowing that he needed to apologize, but the panic seized his throat and choked every word out of him. You reached up slowly, wincing, cradling the back of your head. Shakily, you pulled yourself to your feet.</p>
<p>“Ikuya…” You tried to hide the pain that you were in, but he could see it in your eyes, and the guilt was nauseating.</p>
<p>“Get out,” he breathed hoarsely, turning away so he couldn’t look at you. There wasn’t any sound of movement, so he screamed, “<i>get out of my sight!</i>”</p>
<p>He knew the type of person you were. You wanted to come to him and comfort him, as if <i>he</i> was the one who needed it now. The tears streamed down his face, bitter with shame, and though his teal hair curtained him away from you it wasn’t like he could hide. You knew everything about him. You saw him, laid him bare, and he could handle that no longer.</p>
<p>“Can you be honest with me?” you asked, and he could hear the tears you were holding back at bay. “Do you really, <i>really</i> want me to go?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” he spat back. <i>No</i>, he cried in his head. </p>
<p>“Ikuya—”</p>
<p>“I told you, didn’t I? Get off my back for once in your goddamn life. You’re holding me back. I don’t need you screwing around anymore.” He pointed to the door without really looking. He was saying words that didn’t mean a thing. With a half wish he hoped that he’d open his eyes and none of this had happened. And maybe you still knew that he was lying to you, but finally, you sighed. And you turned, and left,</p>
<p>and you didn’t come back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>I had to fuck it up, I’m sorry this is not goodbye<br/>I let this so-called fame get deep into my head<br/>And I'd end up doing thoughtless things<br/>That I soon would regret<br/>I made you feel special<br/>And I should've felt the same<br/>'Cause I had you by my side<br/>How could I have been this way</b><br/>He had considered apologizing and taking it all back. Maybe it was pride. Guilt. Thinking you’d be better off and he was doing you a favour. Cowardice.</p>
<p>Whatever it was, it worked, and he never did. </p>
<p>At this point he couldn’t remember when the two of you had begun dating. He’d known you early on, back when he still had the strength to keep his head up and feel the sun’s warmth on his face and see stars streak across night skies. For whatever reason unthinkable to him you had stuck around. You were different from Hiyori, and he felt it from the start. Your companionship was earnt, not given. He had to chase after your outstretched hand to feel its warmth. He’d run endlessly for it. He’d chase you through lifetimes if he had to.</p>
<p>You liked him for many things, and every time he asked you changed your answer. He was cute, apparently; gentle on Mondays and sweet on Tuesdays. When making love to you, you’d always arch your body up into his like you couldn’t get enough, like he was air and you were underwater, and you were scrambling at a cliff’s edge to hold onto life. He knew what that felt like first hand. To have <i>your</i> fingers balled up in his hair, <i>your</i> lips seared against his skin—it wasn’t a ‘want’ anymore. It was a need, and without it, he was lost. </p>
<p>You’d come to his competitions in the beginning, but he would have a lot, and you had your own life to tend to besides always looking after him. He understood now, but back then, it had felt like betrayal. It was as if you were leaving him, the same way everybody leaves him in the end—he was so, so stupid for it, he knew. It was never you and always him, and yet, he was broken in ways you could never mend even with your honey slipping sweetly into all of his cracks.</p>
<p>Hiyori kept meddling, trying to bring you back around. You were kind enough to unfurl your hand, the way you’d held it out for him before. Yet you were you and he was him. You held it out for him to take but he turned away, knowing that he didn’t deserve you, and maybe he never had. You were <i>you</i> with a capital letter, and he was the pathetic guy who’d fallen in love with you and hurt you despite it. You deserved better from him.</p>
<p>
  <i>So please, don’t make me fall in love. I already am, and I can’t bear it.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <b>I don't think I’m meant to be with you<br/>I don't wanna make you sad<br/>All the time just feeling bad<br/>Girl, don't make me fall in love with you<br/>I don't think I'm right for you<br/>I’m just disappointing you</b>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>https://deltachye.tumblr.com/</p></blockquote></div></div>
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